it's sad that i just read this entire blog on my lunch break...with some time to spare.
I remember when i started it; how inspired i was to make a "fresh start". that seems like another person wrote that. it feels like another lifetime.
I've gone back to work. The previous post was full of energy and hope...where did all that go?
I am counting on spring to bring me out of my funk...and closer to May, when the school year will be over. Despite having taught Middle School 5 years, this has felt like the "first year teaching"...and i wasn't expecting that.
Also, i wasn't prepared for the strain on the family....and forget personal interests. It seems that either housework gets done or person hobbies are pursued on the weekends. Not both...one or the other. Who chooses housework? I don't until there are no more clean towels.
i actually do have some good things to say about teaching, but since it is a dim, cold and overcast monday, i am a downer. there are soul-sucking encounters i have each day that leave me speechless & feeling hopeless.
Stories like this:
These thugs were telling a story about a kid they saw get beat up. As if that's not bad enough, they are laughing about it...especially about what the kid said when they took his money: "...but my daddy gave me that dollar!" They were so entertained by the whole story~ just laughing and cutting up! Assholes.
What do you say? i tried to enlighten them...but they don't care. How can you teach someone something if they don't care. Maybe they don't know what it feels like to have someone care about them. Sometimes its so hard to care about them ...but not all days.
A bird just landed outside my window, lifting my spirits. Spring is right around the corner :)
Life after the Sarcoma/ Knee-Bunion Adventure.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday, August 31, 2009
Who gets up at this ungodly hour?
It's still dark!
I tried getting up at 5:45 last week, but didnt' take into account the time i need to drop things, stare into space and basically, wake up. I felt like i barely made it to work in time for my 7:05 duty.
Yes...i said work. And duty....and 7:05!!! Yikes.
(we pause for a moment of staring out the window for no apparent reason.....?)
Wake up!!!
The last month has been a blur of cleaning, organizing, inventorying & planning. Then school started. The kicker is that, even though i've been working my tail off for weeks now, the pay cycle doesn't start until the end of September for me. I HAVE ANOTHER ENTIRE MONTH BEFORE I EVEN SEE A PAYCHECK!!
I now resolve, however, to start paying attention to things that are important to me again. In the face of the First Day of School "deadline", i spent every waking moment dedicated to Taking Care of Business. In that process, i missed several clogging classes, haven't done any ceramics, have fallen behind on my emails & phone calls, missed several friends' birthdays, haven't talked to my preggar sister in weeks.... and have watched too many of my beloved plants die!
Last night, i finally broke that pattern to go to a friend's house for fondue and, fondly, Mad Men. I actually considered missing that get-together to go up to my classroom...what a mistake that would of been. I saw so many gal-pals, who i have missed since the beginning of the summer...and now i feel recharged. I'm baaaaa-ack!
New Work-Me-Philosophy: When it comes to personal interests, Igno-No-More!!
(this blog has been interrupted for a coffee break....where writer got distracted and started wiping off counter....)
where was i?
where am i?
what am i doing? i need to go get ready for work......
I tried getting up at 5:45 last week, but didnt' take into account the time i need to drop things, stare into space and basically, wake up. I felt like i barely made it to work in time for my 7:05 duty.
Yes...i said work. And duty....and 7:05!!! Yikes.
(we pause for a moment of staring out the window for no apparent reason.....?)
Wake up!!!
The last month has been a blur of cleaning, organizing, inventorying & planning. Then school started. The kicker is that, even though i've been working my tail off for weeks now, the pay cycle doesn't start until the end of September for me. I HAVE ANOTHER ENTIRE MONTH BEFORE I EVEN SEE A PAYCHECK!!
I now resolve, however, to start paying attention to things that are important to me again. In the face of the First Day of School "deadline", i spent every waking moment dedicated to Taking Care of Business. In that process, i missed several clogging classes, haven't done any ceramics, have fallen behind on my emails & phone calls, missed several friends' birthdays, haven't talked to my preggar sister in weeks.... and have watched too many of my beloved plants die!
Last night, i finally broke that pattern to go to a friend's house for fondue and, fondly, Mad Men. I actually considered missing that get-together to go up to my classroom...what a mistake that would of been. I saw so many gal-pals, who i have missed since the beginning of the summer...and now i feel recharged. I'm baaaaa-ack!
New Work-Me-Philosophy: When it comes to personal interests, Igno-No-More!!
(this blog has been interrupted for a coffee break....where writer got distracted and started wiping off counter....)
where was i?
where am i?
what am i doing? i need to go get ready for work......
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
cuteness, etc
So, yesterday Tready picked up a skirt that i had embellished with some patches and sequins.
He was really checking it out, so i seized the opportunity to toot my own horn.
(If you are ever having a bad day, or dealing with some self-esteem issues, tell a 4 year old about something you've done; they are the best, excitable audience-- ever!)
I told him that the skirt had some stains on it, so i decorated it to hide the stains and make it pretty again. I sewed pink & green flowers on it, along with some sparkly sequins and seed beads.
After careful study, he looked at me and said:
"I have a cool Spiderman patch you could sew on it."
Guess he's not into flowers & sequins.
He was really checking it out, so i seized the opportunity to toot my own horn.
(If you are ever having a bad day, or dealing with some self-esteem issues, tell a 4 year old about something you've done; they are the best, excitable audience-- ever!)
I told him that the skirt had some stains on it, so i decorated it to hide the stains and make it pretty again. I sewed pink & green flowers on it, along with some sparkly sequins and seed beads.
After careful study, he looked at me and said:
"I have a cool Spiderman patch you could sew on it."
Guess he's not into flowers & sequins.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Mind-Numbing Cuteness.
i could start a blog dedicated to my kid, but i don't think i'd ever get anything done....he kills me. right now, i should be packing for a weekend getaway to Hot Springs, but i just had to stop and write. it could be very possible that these things are only uber-cute to a mother, but.....i don't care. i don't have a "Baby Book" to put these things down....i've got my blog.
The other night, we were watching American Idol, and this rap-guy performed. The lyrics were way suggestive (talking about "going down"!!) for Primetime, and all the sudden i was feeling old and prude-ish. (I think its because my 4 year old was sitting next to me and there was all kinds of sexual gyrating going on whilst a sexy man and woman sang about oral sex to each other...)surely im not old and prude-ish.....yet.
Anyhoo...i told Tready i didn't like that song and he, of course, asked "Why?" I said that i liked songs where i could understand the lyrics, or songs that told stories.
Then he said:
"Yeah. Me, too. Like "Twinkle, Twinkle"
awwwwww!
The other night, we were watching American Idol, and this rap-guy performed. The lyrics were way suggestive (talking about "going down"!!) for Primetime, and all the sudden i was feeling old and prude-ish. (I think its because my 4 year old was sitting next to me and there was all kinds of sexual gyrating going on whilst a sexy man and woman sang about oral sex to each other...)surely im not old and prude-ish.....yet.
Anyhoo...i told Tready i didn't like that song and he, of course, asked "Why?" I said that i liked songs where i could understand the lyrics, or songs that told stories.
Then he said:
"Yeah. Me, too. Like "Twinkle, Twinkle"
awwwwww!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Hell for the ADD-Afflicted
Since my son is close to being 5, and i have been in the enigmatic"Mom-Time-Warp*" (when the hours either creep by or you complain that there are never enough hours in the day to get anything done....yet the years still fly by.....), i have forgotten many things associated with having a bambino around. Namely, how crazy it makes me feel.
It's no secret that i'm somewhat ADD-Riddled. Either you've read something i've written here about it, or you've tried to have a conversation with me...i can bet you may have noticed. A couple of years ago, I started taking meds for it and have actually been able to get stuff done, ponder thoughts for more than a millisecond and follow a conversation. It's been great, I've felt successful and......
.....sorry. I just had to go wipe some green snot off my little distraction.
So....what was i talking about? i don't even know now, because now i have to break to go fetch something un-baby-approved from some little mitts....
ok...where was i? oh well...that thought is far gone......i better get to the point of this blog; i was going to describe my average morning.
Breakfast with the young'uns. First, i get mine fed and make some coffee (not always in that order!) Then my little part-time-pipsqueak arrives and i feed him some breakfast. That usually goes smoothly, then the little'un is content to sit in the high chair while i clean up kitchen. This is a very unpredictable, limited time....interspersed with doling out banana slices to keep him occupied....so i have to HUSTLE! In between washing dishes and wiping counter, i am picking up his water bottle countless times. This has actually become very routine and i can do it effortlessly without it seeming like a distraction......but dishes sure take a long time these days.
I usually have to RUSH to the bathroom while he is in his chair because i never know when i'll get a chance to once he's out....
....
WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR ANOTHER DISTRACTION... this one is crawling away at a surprisingly fast pace.....i'll have to finish this later....
(maybe i need to increase my meds)
It's no secret that i'm somewhat ADD-Riddled. Either you've read something i've written here about it, or you've tried to have a conversation with me...i can bet you may have noticed. A couple of years ago, I started taking meds for it and have actually been able to get stuff done, ponder thoughts for more than a millisecond and follow a conversation. It's been great, I've felt successful and......
.....sorry. I just had to go wipe some green snot off my little distraction.
So....what was i talking about? i don't even know now, because now i have to break to go fetch something un-baby-approved from some little mitts....
ok...where was i? oh well...that thought is far gone......i better get to the point of this blog; i was going to describe my average morning.
Breakfast with the young'uns. First, i get mine fed and make some coffee (not always in that order!) Then my little part-time-pipsqueak arrives and i feed him some breakfast. That usually goes smoothly, then the little'un is content to sit in the high chair while i clean up kitchen. This is a very unpredictable, limited time....interspersed with doling out banana slices to keep him occupied....so i have to HUSTLE! In between washing dishes and wiping counter, i am picking up his water bottle countless times. This has actually become very routine and i can do it effortlessly without it seeming like a distraction......but dishes sure take a long time these days.
I usually have to RUSH to the bathroom while he is in his chair because i never know when i'll get a chance to once he's out....
....
WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR ANOTHER DISTRACTION... this one is crawling away at a surprisingly fast pace.....i'll have to finish this later....
(maybe i need to increase my meds)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Whoa, Baby!
i'm finally getting around to blogging!! Yes!
Is there anyone else out there still trying to "get off to a good New Year", even though its MARCH!?!?!
I have still managed to get online to check my friends' blogs regularly (..and boy, am i disappointed when they don't write!) Daily, I think I've thought of something to write about...then, before i know it, the day is gone and i am spent. Today...i actually don't' even have anything interesting to write about, rather than an update on what i've been doing, but i realized i actually have some time--SOME TIME!!! So, I've logged on.
What's up?
Well, rather than my usual time burdens that i can't seem to manage (impending perpetual laundry, grocery shopping, exercise, etc....) I am still successful at making time to make art, which used to be my main 'challenge'. I have plans to write about that....eventually. hopefully.
I'm also *trying* to be better about planning meals to eat healthier and at home with the family...but i'm struggling with planning ahead for this. Which means we are still ordering pizza once a week and eating out (crap*) more than i'd like/ more than we can afford.
* Healthy Eating Out in our town is really limited.
SO..the biggest change in our life this year, my main diversion and reason for not checking in with you dear readers, is currently trying to chew on my toe. (Poor thing...if he had any idea how long i've been wearing these socks, he'd find something else to chew on. HEY! its been really cold lately....)
ok...now he's gotten into something that i need to go intervene....i'll be right back.....
.......and so it goes.
I am now a Semi-Supernanny, with a Part-Time Baby from 8-3, Monday thru Friday. He is a darling, little blue-eyed 8 month old ball of energy. He hardly ever cries, is very good natured and has ninja-like balance, so he barely ever falls down. He is a good age to be able to actually put down and watch for a few minutes while you finally get to go to the bathroom...(or blog)....but i'm still getting used to to it.
In fact....its naptime, so i've gotta go. As i settle into our "routine" a little more, i promise to return. I also promise not to lapse into the Baby Talk, as i've already found myself doing on occasion.
Unless you want to hear about how cute it is when he blows huge snot bubbles from his nostrils. It really is funny.....especially when you havent had adult interaction for hours....its hilarious.
Is there anyone else out there still trying to "get off to a good New Year", even though its MARCH!?!?!
I have still managed to get online to check my friends' blogs regularly (..and boy, am i disappointed when they don't write!) Daily, I think I've thought of something to write about...then, before i know it, the day is gone and i am spent. Today...i actually don't' even have anything interesting to write about, rather than an update on what i've been doing, but i realized i actually have some time--SOME TIME!!! So, I've logged on.
What's up?
Well, rather than my usual time burdens that i can't seem to manage (impending perpetual laundry, grocery shopping, exercise, etc....) I am still successful at making time to make art, which used to be my main 'challenge'. I have plans to write about that....eventually. hopefully.
I'm also *trying* to be better about planning meals to eat healthier and at home with the family...but i'm struggling with planning ahead for this. Which means we are still ordering pizza once a week and eating out (crap*) more than i'd like/ more than we can afford.
* Healthy Eating Out in our town is really limited.
SO..the biggest change in our life this year, my main diversion and reason for not checking in with you dear readers, is currently trying to chew on my toe. (Poor thing...if he had any idea how long i've been wearing these socks, he'd find something else to chew on. HEY! its been really cold lately....)
ok...now he's gotten into something that i need to go intervene....i'll be right back.....
.......and so it goes.
I am now a Semi-Supernanny, with a Part-Time Baby from 8-3, Monday thru Friday. He is a darling, little blue-eyed 8 month old ball of energy. He hardly ever cries, is very good natured and has ninja-like balance, so he barely ever falls down. He is a good age to be able to actually put down and watch for a few minutes while you finally get to go to the bathroom...(or blog)....but i'm still getting used to to it.
In fact....its naptime, so i've gotta go. As i settle into our "routine" a little more, i promise to return. I also promise not to lapse into the Baby Talk, as i've already found myself doing on occasion.
Unless you want to hear about how cute it is when he blows huge snot bubbles from his nostrils. It really is funny.....especially when you havent had adult interaction for hours....its hilarious.
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