it's sad that i just read this entire blog on my lunch break...with some time to spare.
I remember when i started it; how inspired i was to make a "fresh start". that seems like another person wrote that. it feels like another lifetime.
I've gone back to work. The previous post was full of energy and hope...where did all that go?
I am counting on spring to bring me out of my funk...and closer to May, when the school year will be over. Despite having taught Middle School 5 years, this has felt like the "first year teaching"...and i wasn't expecting that.
Also, i wasn't prepared for the strain on the family....and forget personal interests. It seems that either housework gets done or person hobbies are pursued on the weekends. Not both...one or the other. Who chooses housework? I don't until there are no more clean towels.
i actually do have some good things to say about teaching, but since it is a dim, cold and overcast monday, i am a downer. there are soul-sucking encounters i have each day that leave me speechless & feeling hopeless.
Stories like this:
These thugs were telling a story about a kid they saw get beat up. As if that's not bad enough, they are laughing about it...especially about what the kid said when they took his money: "...but my daddy gave me that dollar!" They were so entertained by the whole story~ just laughing and cutting up! Assholes.
What do you say? i tried to enlighten them...but they don't care. How can you teach someone something if they don't care. Maybe they don't know what it feels like to have someone care about them. Sometimes its so hard to care about them ...but not all days.
A bird just landed outside my window, lifting my spirits. Spring is right around the corner :)
2 comments:
Oh yay! A new post!
Spring is the best cure for any funk, and luckily it's right around the corner! It sucks that some kids are so cruel to one another, but they probably have some cruelty in their own lives they're dealing with. I suppose patience and caring is the way to go, and that seems to be what you're doing. Good luck and stay strong!
This winter has been a hard, cold, drab one, so I am definitely feeling on the downer side of things. But like you and Chrissy, I know spring will cure what ails me if I can just hang tight a few more little weeks. Damn that Punxatawney Phil and his shadow-seeing ways!
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