The "news"

We were in the McDonalds drive-through when I read the news.
They had ice-cream.
I had a melt-down.

It's one of those situations, when you later say: "I remember exactly the moment..." Years from now, I will never forget the exact moment I found out one of my students killed himself.

Again, it brings tears to my eyes to write this.

The tears! My immediate grief surprised me. I have only known this student since January--a mere 5 months. I was consumed with a tidal wave of sadness, confusion and empathy for his family...resulting in sobbing like I haven't known since the last episode of Downton Abbey.

Then, the lingering sadness! Throughout the rest of the day,for hours, I scoured The Facebooks like I never have before; a real Creeper, as "my kids" would say. I thought of this young man and his family--particularly, his mother. How is it that the thought of him, which used to illicit a smile, can now brings pangs of sorrow to my heart and tears to my eyes?

As I search for acceptance and meaning through this tragedy, just like everyone else who loves him, something becomes a little clearer to me. It is the first glimpse of Truth or wisdom I can glean from it all, and this young man set me on a path towards it....

...towards the topic of teaching, that is. I find myself realizing some things...

My whole experience as a teacher took a new turn this year. Now, i'm not referring to this particular sad event, but the months leading up to it. This student, along with others, led me to realize how special it is to be a teacher.

Maybe I wasn't in the "right place" before...and I don't mean location: I mean in my life....but I have been embraced. Rather than try to struggle and resist (like I have done in the past), I have relaxed, appreciated the embrace and decided to hug back.

Please forgive the vague terms...I hope to elaborate eventually. I am still sorting through these huge emotions. I decided to write about it because I know it helps to "get it out" and i figured I might get some appreciated feedback.

I already feel better. I was able to muddle through these thoughts with no tears. In fact, I just realized that I was smiling while thinking of him.


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SPY KIDS IN 4D!!!!!!


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Introducing....

Ok, first things first:
I realize that this blog is called "Beyond the Bunion" and I have a big ole bunion on my right foot....but let's just overlook that.  The right foot is the The Good Foot, so I'll take it with a bunion.

For those new to my writing, my original impetus for blogging was a Sarcoma tumor on my knee.  It looked very much like a bunion; thus the nickname "Knee-Bunion".  I left that blog behind, when I left that "ordeal" behind.....but it has limpily caught up with me again.

Introducing my Floppy Foot.  This is due to nerve damage from radiation and surgery from 2007.  It worked fine until the fall of 2010.  It's strange that my foot operated perfectly until then...and the docs are stumped.

I have some more tests next week.

I'm learning how to get used to it.  Makes for a funny video,though, eh?

Key Lime pie for breakfast.

I don't know what woke me up the first time.  I shouldn't have looked at the clock.  Once I saw that it was 3:45 am, my brain started moving.  I tried hard to just think about getting to sleep...but my thoughts wandered all over the place and ended up in the fridge.  I happen to have some Key Lime pie in there.

I might have drifted in and out of a restless sleep for the next 2 hours.  (I hope so because this is going to be a bizizzy day, without time for my favored power-siestas AND it's a work night.)  I thought about all kinds of stuff going on right now: school starting, laundry...a new phase in my work-life, marital stuff, house renovations, bikini waxing....floppy-foot-itis.....key lime pie...

Then, as I was drifting off to sleep, I felt a tickle.  "Oh, that Junior...his fur sure is soft", i thought, as i felt my dog at my feet. I felt it again near my face, but just brushed away what was sure to be a stray hair bothering me.  When i felt the same familiar tickle on my hand, I had to jump up and turn on the light to confirm my dreaded suspicion: i screamed when i saw the odd looking bug.  While I was slightly relieved to see that it wasn't a roach, I was WIDE awake by then.  Time for some Key Lime.

(that's some eggs and fruit for breakfast, no? well, anyway; i had some milk, too, so maybe there is some nutritional value in there somewhere!)

Sooooo.....what's the latest keeping me awake these days? I reckon it will take several posts to get caught up, but I am up for it.  I was so pleased to see the comments awaiting me from my last few meager entries; thank you all for reading.  This is a touch-stone of sorts for me.

 I can't stand complainers, or worse yet, hearing myself complain; yet that seems to be the bulk of what's been occupying my thoughts recently.  I've sunken into one too many "pity parties" and I am tired of it...sooo ready to move on! I'm ready to dig out of this rut.

Good thing i ate breakfast!!

Sweet Reunion...

Oh! This is so true: we don't realize what we have, until it is gone!!!

I just got home with my trusty ole friend, LapTop, after having had him gone for a week.  Granted, he has slimmed down almost beyond recognition....but I'll get him back into shape toute suite!!  I'm just so glad to have him back.  I didn't realize how much time we spent together, until he decided to take a long, stubborn & selfish nap. I suppose I can learn to forgive him for losing...or eating?....my pictures and other data.  Thankfully, we have some support to help heal our relationship.  I think everything is going to be ok....I just thought I'd share that with everyone.

It's good to be back.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year...."

I used to HATE this commercial...but that was back when i was a teacher, and this commercial mocked the painful end of the summer.  I really didn't "get it" at all!

Of course, that was also before I was a PARENT.  Now I can't seem to get this song out of my head.

Happy Easter

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